5.4.07

Ok, I lied

I still do not have an FO. I'm not sure why. The second sleeve is almost done. I only really need a few more hours to work on it. The thing is, I don't really LIKE working on it...I don't really LIKE EITHER sweater I'm trying to finish up.

I started to feel an urge to try sock knitting again...because they are in the round in one peice (no seaming)...and I have a cool book of sock patterns...and I bought some sock yarn AGES ago that I need to use up for something, what better than a sock? Leave me alone.

I went to Borders a few days ago to listen to the Yarn Harlot speak. I had a great time. She was hilarious and the place was packed full of knitters. I didn't knit there...I didn't feel like it.

I know I said I wouldn't post until I had an FO because this blog is boring to read unless I'm making some sort of progress or posting images. However, I failed to realize that in many ways I maintain sanity by blogging...even if it seems that I don't have much to say. I've been feeling pretty depressed lately and nothing I do (or anyone else does/says) seems to make me feel better. I even beat myself up WHILE I'M KNITTING, which I never used to do before. I'm supposed to be knitting for fun...not feeling bad about doing it because I should be doing something else. In all honesty, why should I feel guilty about doing something that helps me clear my mind and makes me feel better? At least it isn't something detrimental to my health. On the contrary, it keeps my mind sharp, my hands busy, and my imagination and creativity are allowed to do what they do...NATURALLY. I shouldn't feel bad about knitting, but lately I do...and I hate it.

I also hate that I'm not a writer...but I don't want to go into what that means (let's just say it sucks to feel that you're a failure in something you've been doing since you went to Sunday School).

So, I needed to blog today...enough said. This blog may end up being more about me than about knitting, but I don't really care right now. I don't really care if I ever have another FO because that's not what this is about...at all. It's a hobby, not a career and I need to stop dreaming. In general, not just with knitting, I need to stop dreaming. Especially when it isn't even clear to ME what it is that I truly want.

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