Etsy Shop Update

I have added a new item(s) to my Etsy shop.


http://www.SugarSticks.etsy.com

There is a link to my shop on the left sidebar...check it out! I'm still working on a banner for my shop...lol

Ok, not shop related, but...I was thinking about a few things and I wanted to let all of my readers know that I sincerely appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I know it seems silly, but it means a lot to know I'm not crazy when I feel some of the negative emotions that I do from time to time. I love you all and happy knitting!!

Still, my fingers smell like onions...

I was talking with the husband last night about how pessimistic I am in general. It's sort of a sad thing when you realize you never look forward to anything, even things that are certain to happen/promised to happen/etc, because you just don't think it's likely to come through for you in the end. I'm not completely rational when I feel that way, I know. When I really think about it, I haven't really had a huge, disastrous number of disappointments in my life. So, what the hell is up with the pessimism?

I'm in a rut, in more ways than one. It used to be the case that I would knit when I felt this way, but now I'm in a knitting rut as well and I feel like a bump on a log. I am suffering from a severe bout of Inactivity.

I sort of made a lackadaisical resolution to try to work on writing everyday, be it a poem, a short story in progress, or maybe that novel I'm supposed to finish eventually. I managed to write a nice paragraph over the weekend, but sort of wrote myself into a hole of intimidation. Gah! Why would I do such a thing? Why would I make myself feel too inadequate to tell a story of my own making? How does that even make sense? It's irrational thinking, and silly as can be, but there it is: my writing rut.

Oh, and the thought of pulling together journal submissions and editing stories is pretty terrifying right now. I'm afraid of going through rejection again (and I know that every writer goes through it many times), but as I sit here I realize, I might be just a teensy bit scared of acceptance as well. Then, there is that other part of me which floats in the corner and wants nothing to do with any of this hubbub. It is that person which I resemble the most. Honestly, I feel so out of touch with myself sometimes, dissociative. It makes it hard to take initiative and get things done when I'm really not involved in my own life. If I could only pull that part back and make it take control again...

Wow, this post turned into something else, that's for sure. What I really wanted to say was, "One of these days I'll work on that Swallowtail Shawl, and it might just be tonight." It's so close to being finished that I realize I'm silly for not working on it.

That's me. Silly, silly, silly.

Silly, silly, silly.

:)

Anthropologie Inspired Capelet

Here I am to save the day with a little chunk of instantly gratifying knitting: The Anthropologie Inspired Capelet!



It took all of three days to finish, no joke, and fits me quite well. I'm satisfied. :)

To knit this, I used up almost three full balls of GGH Aspen that has been chilling in my stash for a while. I still have one skein left and a little smidge of another. What those leftovers will become is beyond me at this point, but it feels really good to use up some of the yarn that has been in baggies and baskets for the past year and a half.

I have also "finished" my Butterfly Mobius, but I altogether hate it. I like it when I double it up around my neck like a cowl, which is probably how I'll wear it. I am going to try to block it and see if it looks better, but otherwise a cowl it is. :(

I haven't done any spinning since I finished my Tigerlily Merino skein. I am in the thinks of what to do with the cormo roving I have. I know I want to spin something up for a sweater, and I'm torn at this point between two. One is actually a vest in a bulky yarn and is in Interweave (an issue that I have). The other is this fantastically over the top, victorian-esque sweater from a back issue of Vogue Knitting (which I don't have). The logical side of me says to knit the one that requires less spinning time and that I already have the pattern for. The daring and exciting side, wants the whack-ass crazy sweater that requires probably over a thousand yards of yarn and the purchase of a back issue (which may not be possible at this point). I'm trying to listen to the logical one, lol.

Tigerlily

I have a spinning FO to show you and it is wonderful in every way before my own eyes! lol


Merino Handspun in Tigerlily colorway. I can't remember who sold it to me, but it was last summer at The Midwest Fiber and Folk Art Festival. This is approximately 324 yards of probably a DK weight. I haven't measured WPI yet, but when I do, I'll report back. For now, just assume it's a DK as I am. :)

Next up on the spinning agenda is some nice undyed-with-vegetable-matter Cormo roving. I haven't started spinning that up yet because I am still unsure of what I want to do with it. Part of me wants to try bulky single while another part wants another plied yarn. I'm going to get more of this roving at some point and since it is undyed I won't really need to worry about stuff not matching up. What should I do?? I've never spun a usable singles before, which is why I'm sort of drawn to that idea. I need to read up a bit on Cormo to see if singles is a wise decision. I need to do what is right for the fiber in the end. :)

My Butterfly Mobius is nearing completion, my Purple Lace Blouse has not been touched, nor has Swallowtail, or any other wip at the moment. I started a new WIP last night that might be finished by this evening. Keep a look-out for the next FO! That's all for now!

Friday

My thoughts at the moment are not where they "should be." I put that in quotes because, really, it isn't entirely true. I really should be thinking at least within the same category, only maybe with a more optimistic attitude. Does that make sense? I keep thinking in terms of "nevers" and that is not very healthy.

For example: "I will never get out of this rut." Now, this is downright silly. I can only do as much as I can, right? And if I am doing something, anything at all, about my "situation" doesn't that mean I won't be in the rut forever? I'm so hard on myself all of the time because that bullying half of me tends to think for some reason that it is good for me. Meanwhile, the one suffering from the emotional attacks of the bully pulls deeper and deeper into her bad habits, her laziness, her selfishness, and her fear because what one side is doing to help the other isn't actually helping at all. It's like an assault on myself 24/7. I would never dream of causing physical harm to myself...so why, why, why do I tear myself to shreds on the inside? Is it because the violence in me is sneaky and smart enough to injure only the places that nobody sees? Am I part domestic abuser and part scared, excuse-making victim? It seems so.

I am working on it.

Really, I am worried about money. I hate to dilute it down to that, but there isn't much more to it, no matter how hard I try to make it more. It could also be about fear. I need the courage to seek employment. I need the courage to write an application essay for graduate school. I need the courage to take the GRE and Japanese Proficiency exams. I need the motivation and the dedication to actually study for these exams. I need the courage to write and submit to various journals within the next year...and I need a skin thick enough to take more rejection on that front, more denial of my worth.

The thing is that the things I intend to do in the next few months should not be so scary. I have done much scarier things in my life with grace and, although perhaps with a wavering sense of confidence, I came through it a wiser and stronger person. I am a very hard worker when it comes right down to it. I just need to nurture that scared side and help it out of its darkness...and right now I'm sort of at a loss of how to do that.

But I am working on it.

This post isn't intended to be a downer. Actually, as I wrote it, I was feeling quite optimistic and reflective. I just needed to put it all out in print somewhere. It helps me. :)

A couple of things...

...Monday was St. Distaff's Day and I spent a large chunk of my time spinning up some merino in "celebration." I have finished the singles, which I allowed to rest a bit on the niddy noddy and I have begun plying them. It is slow going and I don't have any pictures for you yet, but I can show you a picture of my first mistake:


I don't know why I decided I should take it all off the niddy noddy before winding into a ball...stupid me. ((oh, and I know plying such fine singles from one center pull ball is not a good idea, but it's the only way I know how to do it at this point and I have my techniques to keep it all from tangling too much...))

I have not been knitting much, mainly spinning. I'm loving this spinning business lately...and I've been toying with a few other hobbies too...which are related to my love of books, writing, and list making.

I can't wait to ply all these singles and move on to spinning up my Cormo roving!! It's so soft and smells so very sheepy. It even still has little bits of vegetable matter in it...and you know what?...I'm not removing it. It stays. In all its sheepy wonder. Can you tell I'm stoked? lol I will be spinning a bulkier yarn with it because my spindle is just too heavy for the the finer yarns (as I learned with my spinning WIP). Besides, the Cormo is so soft that I am sort of getting gah-gah over the idea of making something really squishy out of it. I want to eventually spin up enough for a sweater, but I will need to make a few trips to the fiber place to get more. It's undyed, so no problem with that dye-lot nonsense. I may decide to dye it myself after it's all spun up, but possibly not.

All this fiber talk leads me to spindle dreaming...and, brace yourself, wheel dreaming too. I want some of these, and one of these, and this one too. And someday, I really really want to get this little eye-sore.

My Butterfly Mobius looks like this:


My Purple Lace Blouse looks like it did last time I showed it to you. lol

Ok, enough. You're all bored. I made Onigiri:


I'm so in love with them...tasty tasty...

Promises, Promises

Like I said I would, I will share a few of my "New Year's Resolutions" with the masses here, which may be a recipe for disaster, but I don't find myself caring too much about that. I won't share them all because, let's face it, the list is up to 16 items give or take and I don't want to take up too much of your time with non-knitting related promises. So, here are my Knitting Resolutions of 2008!

1. Knit a sweater from a Japanese Pattern (I already have one picked out and have figured out possible yarn substitutes...and it won't cost me more that $40 to pull off...God, I love knitpicks!)

2. Knit two sweaters for myself (the Japanese Pattern Sweater can count as one of the two. The other will likely be the Bridesmaid Wrap from Wedding Knits by Suss Cousins. I bought the yarn for it, but unfortunately left it in the STL when we returned from the winter holidays. I won't be able to start it until my mom gets around to mailing it to me, which could be on Monday and could be in 2009...)

3. Knit two sweaters for Max (Cobblestone and something else. I'm all torn up inside between Jared and Beau, both from Vintage Knits)

4. Knit one sweater for my Mother (she likes one out of the most recent Knit Simple and it suggests Patons Classic Merino yarn, which means it will be inexpensive)

5. Spin on a regular basis

6. Abandon the Park and Draft method of spinning

7. Knit a sweater OF MY OWN DESIGN (this was a resolution of last year that I did not accomplish...on to round two!)

8. Focus more on lace projects

Well, I think that's enough for now. I would like to add that I have already checked number 6 off of the list! It just clicked a few days ago and I've been spinning like mad ever since!! I would also like to mention that I have resolved to knit 6 sweaters this year (if you count the one I'm supposed to design myself). It seems like a lot, but there are 12 months in a year. So, I have two months to finish one sweater. Considering that the average time I think it takes to knit a sweater is one month (if I don't loose my focus/interest and throw it aside for months), I see no problem with this. No problem...right?

Speaking of sweaters getting tossed aside and forgotten about, I am trying very hard not to do that with my Purple Lace Blouse (again). I am working on the borders now and have finished the fronts and back. I'm finding it difficult to work on because of having to purl two together through the back loops. I have done it many times before, but not with cotton. Let me tell you, it is a chore. My hands start to hurt after a while, which does not make me want to knit on it in a semi-psychotic fashion. Who knows, this little thing might take two more months to finish after all.


In true crazy fashion, I started a new WIP (I'm up to 5 now):


It's the Butterfly Mobius from The Knitters Book of Yarn. I LOVE it so far. I think it is going to be very nice and comfy. I'm even using old stash yarn!! It's Regia Bamboo Color sock yarn that I've had for nearly two years! I was going to try to make socks with it again (my first attempt was a miserable failure), but I've decided that I'm not going to be bothering with socks too much in the New Year. I do want to knit some thigh highs, but other than that, I just don't feel the urge anymore.

While in Saint Louis I worked the Swallowtail Shawl up to the nupps section and it has been sitting in its little baggie ever since. I learned nupps and got quite comfortable with them in my half of an Estonian Garden Stole, but for some reason I can't bring myself to start the nupps section on the Swallowtail yet. It's probably a wise decision considering the woes with the Purple Lace Blouse. Take the difficult and tedious projects one at a time....one at a time...

Let's see, what else? I baked a cake...didn't take pictures, though. I'm starting yoga (after one lesson, my muscles ached and I had a headache the next day from the muscle pain...it should go away once I practice more). I think I'm going for a lesson tomorrow morning...

That's all for now. I want to get back to my spinning and make some progress there before Max awakes from the dead (practically).

Happy New Year!

I have been meaning to post, but I haven't actually had much (knitting related) to write about. There was huge horrible drama on Christmas day between my Uncle and my kid brother that I don't want to get into. Let's just say physical violence is acceptable in my eyes only in the arts and film making, not in real life. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. An individual using violence in self defense is one thing, but the individual who strikes first is mentally and spiritually weak. Say what you may to that, but I stand by it.

Otherwise, I was happy to see my family, but even more happy to come back home.

A knitterly post, complete with New Year's Resolutions is coming up soon!